Never Once

 

 

My heart is breaking

 

The news today from the orphanage has not been good

 In fact, the situation with the children's feet has gotten much worse

Today another doctor came to see the children and said that two of the girls needed

surgery on their feet immediately. It is feared that gangrene has begun setting in.

These little girls will be having surgery tomorrow if all goes as planned

 

The need is still so great. They are trying to scramble and gather a team of

people that would possibly be willing to travel to care for these little ones

while they have surgery and after. Sending them back into the orphanage

post surgery would be placing them back into the same environment that

caused the issue to begin with. Only now, with more open wounds. This

would cause huge set backs and another potential surgery.

 

Our agency is working diligently to bring relief to the children but it is very

difficult to put together a team to travel at the last minute as well as

gain visas and passports.

 

This need is urgent.

 

I have nothing that I can do

I FEEL HELPLESS

 

My sister called and shared this song with me tonight

as always she called at the perfect time

I have been feeling very overwhelmed today.

It is easy in these type of situations to be sent into panic

How quickly can we get there

What is going to happen if we don't make it to Congo

Would the Lord bring us on this journey for it to end horribly?

What if he has called us to love children that may never make it to our home?

 

I know these are extreme thoughts but they are the fears that have been clamoring around in my head all day. I have felt captured by fear and sadness. I have felt so alone. SO SMALL!! Unable to fix anything!

 

 

 

The reality is that this entire journey could simply be about obedience.

It may not end the way that we hope and long for but in the end

His ways are HIGHER

We are not walking alone and our precious babies are not alone

He is there with them. I pray that HE reveals himself in ways to them that only HE can

I pray that He draws near to them when the pain is overwhelming.

I pray that His will be done

Even as I write this, the reality of what that could be sends waves of sorrow through my heart

I will continue to trust

I will continue to shout how faithful HE is

 

I will cling to the knowledge that all of this is for HIS glory and to make His name known

 

In this valley I will sing songs of praise.

I chose to trust in HIM

( now, that is today...tomorrow I will most likely revert back to the version of me that is curled up under the covers crying)

BUT FOR TONIGHT

this is my heart