Come To Life... Part 1

 

 

I knew what packing their room up meant

I knew that unmaking the beds

and taking toys out of the closet was confirmation

that they were never coming home

The Christmas pajamas that hung in their rooms were filed away

in a box. I had walked through stores crying and praying

over what I could get them to make my house feel like

their home and in a moment it was all gone

 My whole heart was beating for the moment I

saw their faces for the first time

In a short 20minute moving session the men cleared out

what was going to be their bedroom

They were never coming home

The men moved from one room to the next

Soon those two boxes were loaded alongside every thing

else that we were taking with us.

As I backed out of the driveway that afternoon

I never imagined I would not come home again

I always thought he would come for me, for us

that never happened

Instead, my three little ones and I moved from our home

into the home of my sister, her husband and their two children

They had a finished basement and on the top floor an extra bedroom

It was perfect for the chaos

 

I walked downstairs to "the Pit" as it is called for reasons

im not sure I care to know

Not a detail was overlooked

My family had worked their tales off to make this place

a home for me. I don't think the place has ever looked so good

Decorations in colors that had matched my home

pictures, mirrors, plants...everything was an effort to help me

settle in and know I was welcome

they had turned their entire basement into an apartment for me

They set up a bedroom and living room

They have a bar and between my sister and my mom, the "kitchen"

was now stocked and ready for living

They had stocked my bathroom with supplies that I didn't

even know Id need.

They had set the children's rooms up neatly as well

We brought the boys bunk beds with us from my house

they had their own room

They set their daughter's room up to welcome

my Alyssa. A bed just for her, a side of the closet

and dresser just for her. I remember  walking around

in a fog as they showed me where everyone would be

Im not sure I said anything other than thank you

as I surveyed all they had done

The reality is that there were no sufficient words

I laid my head on the pillow that night

Alone and completely defeated

I allowed the reality sink in

I had  lost two children

lost my home

my children lost their family

I lost my husband to someone else

Life would never be the same again

I simply laid there and wept before the Lord

My heart was breaking

I could feel it being torn to bits and I wondered

how I would ever get through this

How would my children ever get through this

Then I was reminded

I AM NEAR TO THE BROKEN HEARTED

I will bind up your wounds

I am the Father to the Fatherless

and with that...

I curled up in the bed

with a peace that I'd never felt

Though the room was empty

I was not alone